“Whatever happened to chivalry?”
“What ever happened to good guys and gentlemen in this world?”
“Is your boyfriend loyal?”
“Wow, all men can really be shallow, aren’t they?”
Seeing and hearing all these types of questions when it comes to men, sometimes I realize some women have too much standards to uphold. I mean, yes, at our generation today many are succumbed to temptation and lust but sometimes don’t we realize that maybe it’s our fault? I mean maybe most of you guys didn’t realize but women nowadays dress as if they were hookers while they are hanging out with their girlfriends and maybe its just very short shorts sometimes but skin is skin, The more we show, the more imprudence we invite to our world.
But before you say anything else, I honestly believe in women empowerment and being comfortable in your own skin. Heck, I always had skin asthma and allergies were a norm to me yet I show some skin here and there. And I believe that feminism is great belief to uphold for EQUALITY of both men and women. But the standards we put up on perfect men and relationships are way too high.
And I know so many of you will disagree with past experiences or just plain different point of views, I still want to give a point of defense to men:
- Not all men are jerks and perverts
I get that sometimes they really are at fault here and their weird instinct just destroys it all, but not all men are like that. I’ve seen most of my guy friends who are decent enough just to take a girl home after a night out with no strings attached. Heck, they are even just friends up until now and no extra feelings involved whatsoever. Just good ol’ friendship between them. And ladies, if you really know them, sometimes you can really see that they are genuine.
2. Respect? Be the cause of it
If you were really a decent girl of any sort, you wouldn’t want to dress up like some hooker at the back of the club. At least dress the way your man (or any man who loves/cares enough for you, in that matter) wants you to dress up or be the judge of whatever makes you comfortable, you are your own woman after all! Just try not to be too flashy. I know that sometimes the media and society today can over-sexualize woman’s standards today but honey, BE YOUR OWN WOMAN. Just because crop tops and short shorts are in, doesn’t mean you have to follow a trend.
Not only that, but maybe have a bit more of respect for yourself. You may have experienced being left by one guy or you still haven’t found the guy you were looking for,but it doesn’t mean that no guy will ever like you. So if your desperate for attention, do it in a respectable way. I think a woman who respects herself will automatically project that you are a strong independent woman. Ergo, attracting a decent guy.
In which case, if your man really loves, he will love you no matter what you look like. He would see that your wearing a potato sack and still would feel like he is the luckiest guy in the world. And trust me, he will probably ask you to cover up some more whenever you go out so that no guy could touch you.
3. Chivalry is great but lets not over specify
I’ve seen too much blogs or articles saying “Chivalry is dead” or “How to be a proper gentlemen” or even “10 Things that Makes a Great Guy”. Now, I wouldn’t say I hate this on any man, of course, I do want a fair share of this. But having a perfect guy is absolutely impossible. Let alone expecting him to be one, one day. And it doesn’t help also if you have too much standards. If you really care from him, you wouldn’t ask any more from him that he asks from you. If you really love him, you will see perfect in his imperfections.
And honestly, I don’t believe that woman are the “weaker beings”. I think I can pull up my own chair and rule a country if I have the time. And also, I have seen women beat up a guy’s butt before and we are the “weaker beings” that every man should take care of? I don’t think so. Which brings me to my other point:
4. Fair is fair. Enough said.
Gender equality is important. I believe that women and men coerce with each other as a team to face difficulties and all the positives together. That’s why Adam seek Eve from God because everyone would want to have someone as a partner in life.
And for what its worth, if I want a guy giving me his coat or pulling up my chair for a date. I would probably be bringing my own coat or pull up my own chair because I do believe I have my own set of hands. And has anyone of us even thought that maybe guys get chilly too and they want their jacket? Maybe they also want their chairs to be pulled up by us but I find it difficult to imagine that a woman always does that to for their man on an everyday basis.
5. Want a decent guy? Stop the friendzone!
Now, I don’t mean that you should settle for less because trust me I kind of believe in the phrase: “Better than to be choosy than sorry”. But the thing is your expectations and our types may likely be incorrect most of the time. How are you so sure that this type of guy would fit you so well? Ask that to yourself, and maybe, just maybe, you are wrong too? And also how would you know the difference between want and need? You may think that you want this particular guy but how are you so sure that he could give you what you need and make you a better person? Honestly, we really don’t know what we need until we experienced it. Because if the guy for example, who is hitting on you right now seems decent enough, he makes you smile from here and there, and you know to yourself there is some spark there between you two, then why not try? And if, at the end of the day, you still don’t like him then great you can just be straightforward and tell the truth. But then, if something good did happen, then great, he just might be the one that you need.