Why can’t you leave once its broken?

Sadly, I have been asked the question a hundred dozen times already. And for most of you that’s experiencing this, I understand perfectly.

Especially if this relationship has lasted for so long and you have invested a lot on this, it makes the situation worse. But we ask ourselves, over and over again, why do we stay? Why do we stay even though we deserve so much better than this? Why do we constantly put ourselves in a situation where we hurt ourselves even more? Why can’t I just give up since we are beyond repair?

  1. We don’t have the control to love and unlove a person. It just happens out of nowhere. And despite how much we know how wrong it already is or how toxic the relationship is, we push through it because we love that person. We turn a blind eye on every ugly truth about the person. And we both know that this hard to resist especially if you fell for the most amazing person in the world.
  2. Being alone scares us. Despite having to know that its possible for us to find someone again, we don’t know the accuracy of this. We will ponder when the day will come again when we find someone special. That special someone that makes everything better again and gets you instantly. That special someone to hold  so dear again and also have the same loving eyes we give them.
  3.  The unknown scares us. When you have invested in a relationship for so long, there will be times where we feel as if he/she is the only person you need. You get sucked up in this life with this partner that after moving on, we don’t know what to do. The unsettling feeling of not knowing what to do next is horrible because we already envisioned having a life with this person and now that he/she is gone, what now?
  4. We hope that we can still fix it. We have those weak moments and we still obviously still adore them. We don’t want to end it there so you wont accept it. You try to do your best and resolve the issue and hope that he cooperates.
  5. We don’t want to be in the process of moving on. It sucks. Its going to suck because we will have hours and hours of wallowing into our sorrows and eat tons of junk food to heal our wounds. But we all know how to move on and the only cure is time. Time heals all wounds but the process of being in pain is dreadful.

But despite having said that, its only going to get worse. Once you realized that you and your partner are already broken and unfixable, it will inevitably happen. The pain and anguish will creep up to you and evolve into emptiness. And you will probably be happy for a little while but you will cry and still be unhappy no matter how much you love him/her.

But the worst thing that you can do to yourself is prolong the pain and emptiness from this broken relationship. It’s being stuck and not being able to move forward. And although you may find a bit more happiness being with that partner, you are just lying to yourself that you will be able to move forward. It’s beyond repair and you know it.

There is strength in walking away. There is strength in saying its over. We should not be afraid of moving forward because its the only thing that’s going to help us. And we definitely should not be afraid of accepting that its meant to be.

 

Thought of the Day: I finished college, what now?

Stereotypical blog post as it seems, it can still relate to many millennials today. The thing with our generation today is most of us try to pursue our passion which is full of hope and dreams. You can either be a doctor, not just because you know that mommy and daddy told you to become one, but you believe in the value of becoming a savior of humanity and be able to do what you can in this life. Or a merely a ballerina in which you resonate the audience with your performance and be left in awe on how beautiful this artistry is.

Decisions. Something that we have to go to everyday. By just merely choosing the other brand of milk than your regular brand or deciding your child’s future school. What many do not say about making decisions is the process of it.

For most of us, we have been undoubtedly go through the same process of which we are all familiar with which is scrolling through Jobstreet and be able to apply for the job that suits your profession or your interest. For some, they take a wild vacation. They have, after all, have been studying half of their life and wish to go on adventure and truly find themselves in the process.

Yet none of us really know what we are stepping to. There are the lucky ones who enable themselves and pursue the dreams they wish and attend to the goals they have in their head. And there are others, who glorify in their soul searching and find the beauty of reinventing themselves for a better future, no matter how much or how long it takes, they wish to understand what is foremost essential to acquiring a desired life and profession. And for some, they believe in the laid back life in which they will eventually find themselves rolling through and goes with the flow of life. But then again, we question ourselves. We question if this is the path that we wish to take. We question if this is the path that would best suit our needs. We question if this path is practical. We question if this passion can progress into something beautiful.

And my dear friends, I understand. I understand that undoubtedly we are terrified of what we are choosing and we are terrified of the opportunities that we are missing. It is an unending cycle of discontent, exploration, or indecisiveness.

But then again, we are young. Our lives doesn’t have to be defined on the decisions we make today and the decisions we make tomorrow. And many of you might have every possibility to have more responsibilities than others (i.e. a child, a family to feed, etc.) but don’t ever stop there:

(1)Let us take risks because there is nothing more exciting than to find yourself in a place totally different from yours or a place that blows your mind. Don’t just do what your parents believe is good for your future, do something that also ignites your soul and passion.

(2) Then if you do not know what you are suppose to do yet, that’s fine. God’s timing is perfect and wait for the opening that he has given you. Again, you are young not many know what they are supposed to do or destined for.

(3) And if you do know what you are supposed to do, strive and don’t give up. Always put yourself into a group or an aura of positivism. Push your mentality to strive and do more for your dreams even after you got the job or achieved that goal. Remember, a man that never stops will be able to push through any obstacles.

 (4) But lastly, never stop growing. Please, please do this even if you are lost and still searching. Grow so that you can be able to be of use not only to the people around you but you also believe that you are growing into the man or woman you envision yourself. Grow so that you will leave no regrets behind as you push further in life. There will be obstacles and it will take time but pleas never stop growing.

Thought of the Day: Mediocrity and Lost

Eventually you get stuck in a rot in your everyday life.And then you realize how pathetic your life can be. We wish that we could be something else or someone else. We idolize fiction and other glamorous life cause mediocrity is a norm in the society. We fantasize about what every writer ambitions for the character to play and how the setting of a situation consumes a character to a perspective he/ she cannot resist. The reality of the situation is that we sink in to this fantasized or glamorized dramatic lifestyles because the norm bores us.Yet even though we could do better with ourselves and make our time worth it, we continue to spin on and on in this web of lies we walk on everyday.

Humanity has the intelligence but the ignorance to do what is expected of them. There is a mindset of controlling ones own life that all of us are in control what we should do with our lives. And yes although I undoubtedly respect individuality and freedom for all our fellowmen, I wish we could have a guide for any of our lives what we should do and at least be aware of what we are good at. So few are remembered in history for their contribution to men and our world because they have discovered something ingenious or created artistry or even helped an entire nation and believe me I respect these kinds of people yet their destiny was long written by our Creator long before but never knew how big of an impact they can have on human history.

But I have always wanted to ask them in their life, before they were famous in our literary books and encyclopedias. Were they ever lost in their life and how would you know that something is worth doing? How can you spark a thought and blaze it upon an entire generation? Because if this is the life I will be forever and even find no meaning at all, then why am I here for? What is the whole purpose of me being born? Am I just gonna be another instrument to procreate my species or at least do something with my life?

Unfortunately, even I can’t say where we are suppose to be and this post will not be of help to you at most. But let me just tell you that I have been there and so have many for sure. The only thing that is going to stop this kind of thinking is if you start with yourself. Start with simple tasks that interest you and also helps you:

  • Exercise
  • Paint
  • Write a Novel (in my case, write about it in a blog)
  • Explore
  • Bond with family and friends

And most of all, relish this mediocrity and loneliness. Relish this feeling. For you can never really find something if you are not lost in the first place. You will never try to push out of bounds if you didn’t feel stuck at the first place. No amazing writer, magician, doctor, inventor, teacher, etc. was ever really great at what they did if they themselves didn’t experience hardships like this.